Cars want to be driven, guitars want to be thrashed

You can't go against the laws of nature. Guitars want to be thrashed; it saddens me to hear someone stroking a guitar gently. It's not nature's way.

Similarly, cars want to be driven; in particular, cars whose engines afford them a lot of power. That's what they're for, these engines; to provide some poke. Now: I love my car. I adore it, and yet I recognise that it has a smaller engine than some electronic typewriters. She can still kick the arse of most cars on the road, though, because most cars are driven at about 10% of their capacity. Today, my darling little wheeled hairdryer and I plodded along at 28 miles per hour. On a road with a 40 mph limit. Behind a Landrover Discovery. You can imagine my rage. And this isn't an isolated incident: I've been stuck behind a plodding Lexus, an Audi that apparently only has two gears, all manner of sad, slow cars who are not being allowed to fulfil their potential.

Guitars: thrashing. Cars: driving. It's not hard to remember.

Oh: and while Aunty's on the subject of driving, this old chestnut:

IT'S ACTUALLY VERY SIMPLE TO USE A ROUNDABOUT

Let's set aside all the "local knowledge" roundabouts where the left lane is for turning left only, and the right lane is for going straight on. For the most parts, roundabouts are alarmingly simple:

To turn left

Get in the left hand lane. Indicate left.

To turn right

Get in the right hand lane. Indicate right.

(You see a pattern forming, no?)


To go straight ahead

DO NOT USE TWO OPTIONS IN THE HOPE THAT THEY WILL CANCEL EACH OTHER OUT.
Being in the left lane and indicating right, or being in the right lane and indicating left: neither of these options alert other road users to the fact that you're going straight on. They do, however, let us know that you don't have the faintest idea how to use a roundabout, and that, I suppose, is quite useful information to have.

Sorry, dears. In general, Aunty is in high spirits today. And I do want to point out that if someone I know and love drives badly, then the above points don't count. You'll learn this, about Aunty; I'm a fiercely loyal defender of everyone on my side, and will bend any truth to support the people I love. Similarly, if you cross me, you'll soon learn just what an old hag I can be.

Anyway. I spent the morning lushing and shopping, and ought to put in an hour's work, just for the show of the thing.

Toodle pip and much love as ever, darlings!